I'm a big fan of the internet show put on by Pat Gray and Stu Burguiere every morning. Once a week, they call random convenience stores around the country and ask the clerk 4 quick questions. If the person doesn't know the answer, Pat or Stu will usually make something up. This is one of the better dialogs between them a clerk. Last question is the best. (You'll find a transcription of the questions and answers below the video.)
Q: How much does it cost to run for President of the United States of America?
A: It costs you your entire soul.
Q: What is Social Security?
A: I'm not sure because I'll never collect it.
Q: Why do kids get participation trophies
A: Because they are losers.
Q: What is a star made out of?
A: Same thing as a politician: hot gas.